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Can Ryan Gosling Win an Oscar for 'Best D-ckish Smirk' in 'Drive'? (and 24 Other Urgent Questions)

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There's a new movie called 'Drive' that drives into theaters this weekend, driven by Ryan Gosling, who headlines the star-studded cast. Will audiences get in their cars and drive to the theater to see 'Drive'? Will I drive you insane with the amount of times that the word "drive" appears in this introduction? Obviously. As a service, Moviefone answers every question that you could possibly have about 'Drive' ahead.

Q: Who is the star of 'Drive'?

A: The star of 'Drive' is Ryan Gosling.

Q: Should I know who Ryan Gosling is?

A: Probably, but Gosling's A-list fame does have a "Wait, when did this happen?" feel to it. If nothing else, you should know him from being mentioned in 'Lazy Sunday.'

Q: The posters for 'Drive' have, "Some heroes are real" written on them. Is 'Drive' based on a true story?

A: No.

Q: What is Gosling's character's name in 'Drive?'

A: He doesn't have one. He is only listed in the credits as "Driver."

Q: From now on will you refer to Gosling's character as "Driveling"?

A: Sure.

Q: In a commercial for 'Drive,' I saw that Driveling drives a racecar. Is 'Drive' about a racecar driver?

A: The scene of Driveling driving a racecar in the commercial for 'Drive' is the extent of his racecar driving in the film.

Q: How is the chemistry between Gosling and Sylvester Stallone in 'Drive'?

A: You're thinking of 'Driven.' Sylvester Stallone does not appear in 'Drive.'

Q: Wait, so if Driveling is not a racecar driver, what is his occupation?

A: Driveling is an auto mechanic and a part-time stuntman.

Q: Oh, I see, like Colt Seavers in 'The Fall Guy.'

A: No, Colt Seavers was a stuntman and a bounty hunter -- auto mechanic was not a part of his repertoire. (Also, Colt Seavers never spent much time in school, but he taught ladies plenty.)

Q: OK, seriously, does Driveling even drive a car at all in 'Drive'?

A: Yes, he does, but not as often as the title might lead a human being of average intelligence to believe.

Q: What's the best scene in 'Drive'?

A: The best scene in 'Drive' is in the first 15 minutes -- so don't be late.

Q: What happens in that the first scene of 'Drive'?

A: Driveling is hired as a getaway driver for a robbery...

Q: Wait, I thought you said that Driveling was an auto mechanic and a stuntman?

A: Well, he is. But he's also a part-time getaway driver-for-hire. So, he has three jobs -- probably because of the tough economy. The film opens with the getaway from the heist, which is quite riveting.

Q: Oh! So 'Drive' opens with a high-speed chase?

A: Not really. Driveling actually seems to obey most local ordinances and speed limits during the getaway.

Q: Will Ryan Gosling be nominated for an Oscar for his performance in 'Drive'?

A: If the only Oscar criterion is for an actor to barely speak, but spend 70 percent of the movie with an all-knowing d-ckish smirk on his face -- d-ckish Ryan Gosling will win an Oscar, unanimously. (I'm not even kidding, no one does a d-ckish smirk better than Ryan Gosling.)

Q: If you're going to be blurbed in this weekend's commercials for 'Drive,' what quote do you think will be used?

A: "D-ckish Ryan Gosling will win an Oscar, unanimously!" -- Mike Ryan, Moviefone

Q: What's the most surprising thing about 'Drive'?

A: It's unbelievably violent.

Q: Well, I was expecting a certain amount of violence...

A: No, really, you weren't. Not this much, especially when you take into account the rather tame and stylized marketing campaign. Also, the extreme and rather gory violence starts pretty much out of the blue about halfway through and doesn't relent for the rest of the film.

Q: So what happens after the first 15 minutes of 'Drive'?

A: Driveling falls for his next-door neighbor, played by Carey Mulligan.

Q: Is Mulligan's name listed as "blond female neighbor" in the credits?

A: No, her name is listed as Irene. Irene has a husband named Standard, but that husband is in jail.

Q: Oh, I see, the husband is listed as "Standard" in the credits because he acts as a standard plot device.

A: No, his name just happens to be Standard. (Though, maybe.)

Q: What happens after Standard is released from jail?

A: At first, Driveling and Standard do not get along -- Standard becomes the brunt of Gosling's d-ckish smirks. Later, after Standard is assaulted by cronies of some old mob associates wanting money, Driveling agrees to help Standard rob a pawnshop. This does not go well.

Q: What's the best thing about 'Drive'?

A: Albert Brooks as a mobster.

Q: At what point in the film does 'Drive' become very violent?

A: Once Driveling, Standard and Joan Holloway (who is with them for reasons I haven't 100 percent yet figured out) arrive at the pawnshop, the film takes a drastic turn.

Q: Should I see 'Drive'?

A: Yes, you should. I did enjoy 'Drive,' but, seriously: don't go in with any expectations. Put it this way: If someone told me, "Man, I really loved 'Drive'" that would not surprise me. If someone told me, "Man, I really did not care for 'Drive,'" -- that would slightly surprise me, but I can see that, too.

You can contact Mike Ryan directly on Twitter.
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